i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
