Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Boobs are out for the taking
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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