her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
