I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
