part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
