rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
