I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
