I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
