am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
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I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
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The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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