You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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