Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize