She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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