The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
