My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize