I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
