his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
