Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize