I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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