I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
