if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just want to make out with him forever
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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