ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
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Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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