alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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