well you can't waste a boner
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
