I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
