I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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