does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
