so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize