I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
