Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
