Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
