It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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