she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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