Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
