Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
