porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She said her name was "party"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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