I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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