I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
