I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
