I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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