I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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