Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You're completely useless in the revolution.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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