By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
