Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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