yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
