She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
