That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
