My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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