You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
