): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
