For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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