y did u give ur computer a hand job?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
