I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
