Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
