Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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