Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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