we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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