walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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