Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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