well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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