I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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