in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
