yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
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