i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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