he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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