I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
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You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
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Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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